Over the last couple of nights, 3 o'clock in the morning would signal my wake up call. Angst and tension all coiled in my stomach. I need to get in touch with my own emotions as I am not hundred percent sure where this is coming from. My work load is a lot, but then my procastination tactics have also increased over the last couple of days.
Too scared to look inside, to rushed to sit down, and when will I make that phonecall? Today I think, not that I am convinced that it is the real cause of distress.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Fighting over toys
I have to confess, I buy toys for Elrich so I can play with them. Today I reached the height of immaturity. I fought with E over the possession of a toy.... I know. He is suppose to be the two year old and I am suppose to be the adult.
What the hell, I feel really shit. But oh boy that marble run is just the most amazing toy I have EVER seen. I entertained myself (I'll admit it) all afternoon with the darn thing and guess what? I even took it out of E's room just before bedtime so I can play some more when he is asleep.
Did I have a deprived childhood or what?!!
What the hell, I feel really shit. But oh boy that marble run is just the most amazing toy I have EVER seen. I entertained myself (I'll admit it) all afternoon with the darn thing and guess what? I even took it out of E's room just before bedtime so I can play some more when he is asleep.
Did I have a deprived childhood or what?!!
Monday, February 20, 2006
Rollercoaster week
I want to get offff!!! This carriage called my life is just moving way out of control.
Over the last week our friend has succeeded in killing himself, I went on a two day away research trip, dh and me had a honeymoon day/night and Elrich turned two!!. I am exhausted just thinking about it.
Ten days ago Tommie removed himself from this life as we know it, he was only found four days later. Not a pleasant experience for the cleaning up crew as it is mid summer here with temps in the 30C and a lot of humidity. We are still awaiting the autopsy to tell cause of death. I am not sure at all how I feel about this. I do believe it is every human's right to determine his own life and therefore death, but geeezz this guy was still so young and he had so much going for him. We will miss him dearly as he was a great friend and the best story teller I have ever met. There are a couple of Tommie songs on the radio that will always remind me of him, and the more I hear them the less I understand his ultimate decision.
The research trip was an eye opener and reminder as to how much I have to be thankfull for. We went to a mine and informal settlement in the Limpopo region. The informal settlement has no municipal services at all. About 10 000 people live in extreme poverty in a boiling bowl of dust. No real roads, mud and tin houses, goats chickens and children running in tracks. Beautifull smiling faces and hand made diamant wire mesh. I took some photos and cannot wait to develop said film. I learn so much as I meet these incredible places of hope.
My parents came up for a business meeting and looked after young e all of Saturday, until Sunday morning. Phil an me just took to the road early Saturday morning and eventually ended at a little game lodge an hours drive from home. We slept in a luxury tent, on stilts at a watering hole. Ate dinner like celebs and woke to the crunching munching sounds of Impala and Kudu. This will have to be repeated on a regular basis - what a spoil and much needed rest.
E's birthday and the memorial service coincided - needless to say, we held the party and it was wonderfull. My little boy was a typical two year old and would not share with a soul. Luckily there were way more adults than kids, so fun was had by all.
So now - off to university for the second class of the year and hopefully the students will be as well prepared and enthusiastic as the first time round!!
Over the last week our friend has succeeded in killing himself, I went on a two day away research trip, dh and me had a honeymoon day/night and Elrich turned two!!. I am exhausted just thinking about it.
Ten days ago Tommie removed himself from this life as we know it, he was only found four days later. Not a pleasant experience for the cleaning up crew as it is mid summer here with temps in the 30C and a lot of humidity. We are still awaiting the autopsy to tell cause of death. I am not sure at all how I feel about this. I do believe it is every human's right to determine his own life and therefore death, but geeezz this guy was still so young and he had so much going for him. We will miss him dearly as he was a great friend and the best story teller I have ever met. There are a couple of Tommie songs on the radio that will always remind me of him, and the more I hear them the less I understand his ultimate decision.
The research trip was an eye opener and reminder as to how much I have to be thankfull for. We went to a mine and informal settlement in the Limpopo region. The informal settlement has no municipal services at all. About 10 000 people live in extreme poverty in a boiling bowl of dust. No real roads, mud and tin houses, goats chickens and children running in tracks. Beautifull smiling faces and hand made diamant wire mesh. I took some photos and cannot wait to develop said film. I learn so much as I meet these incredible places of hope.
My parents came up for a business meeting and looked after young e all of Saturday, until Sunday morning. Phil an me just took to the road early Saturday morning and eventually ended at a little game lodge an hours drive from home. We slept in a luxury tent, on stilts at a watering hole. Ate dinner like celebs and woke to the crunching munching sounds of Impala and Kudu. This will have to be repeated on a regular basis - what a spoil and much needed rest.
E's birthday and the memorial service coincided - needless to say, we held the party and it was wonderfull. My little boy was a typical two year old and would not share with a soul. Luckily there were way more adults than kids, so fun was had by all.
So now - off to university for the second class of the year and hopefully the students will be as well prepared and enthusiastic as the first time round!!
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
The first lecture
Last night was amazing!! I must admit I did not have high expectations of these youngsters at all, so what a suprise when the session turned into a serious debate and I had to work hard at keeping them within timeframes. This is way better than trying to pull hens teeth out of a bunch of unprepared uninterested yawning kids.
We had excellent discussions around what is work/ or not, employment, labour and the right to it, and how that all relates to society and what we have come to accept as normal. Marx, Durkheim and Weber were passionately compared and argued for. Since the class was international (some students from North Africa) diverse accents, opinions and experiences peppered the discussions.
We had excellent discussions around what is work/ or not, employment, labour and the right to it, and how that all relates to society and what we have come to accept as normal. Marx, Durkheim and Weber were passionately compared and argued for. Since the class was international (some students from North Africa) diverse accents, opinions and experiences peppered the discussions.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
'Fish'
is Elrich's newest word, that and 'stoppit!!!'
Yesterday we went on a spur of the moment fishing/picnic trip. Something we have not done in a lonnng time. We even had to scout the new place out as I suggested the dam on recommendation of a collegue. I was, however, not exactly sure where this place was. We found it easily enough and not far from home at all.
The only movement in the water was the rowing club and tiny little carps. Phil made it a matter of honour to catch them on his homemade fly immitation, just to prove his prowess as a hunter and provider. Not that we kept them, they were duly shown to E - to his delight - and then promptly released back into the water.
Yesterday we went on a spur of the moment fishing/picnic trip. Something we have not done in a lonnng time. We even had to scout the new place out as I suggested the dam on recommendation of a collegue. I was, however, not exactly sure where this place was. We found it easily enough and not far from home at all.
The only movement in the water was the rowing club and tiny little carps. Phil made it a matter of honour to catch them on his homemade fly immitation, just to prove his prowess as a hunter and provider. Not that we kept them, they were duly shown to E - to his delight - and then promptly released back into the water.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
In the isles
I am standing in the toy isle of a big chainstore. This lady approached me to ask some advice about a toy she wants to buy for her 10 month old. We start talking and about 2 hours later I walk out with a new project!! You never know what awaits around the next corner, or shopping trip.
She is opening a new toy store at a local shopping centre and we started to discuss the quality and variety of toys available in SA. It turns out that she tried to use local manufacturers but that quality and interest are both lacking. Her answer to that was to import really quality stuff from Europe and the US, but I have convinced her to rather start a manufacturing plant!!
The end result of this isle meeting is another meeting today to discuss how we can combine skills development, job creation and good quality SA toys. I think we need to brand our product well and start to develop toys for Africa. With puzzles and stories about our legends, fables and heros rather than regurgitating US culture.
She is opening a new toy store at a local shopping centre and we started to discuss the quality and variety of toys available in SA. It turns out that she tried to use local manufacturers but that quality and interest are both lacking. Her answer to that was to import really quality stuff from Europe and the US, but I have convinced her to rather start a manufacturing plant!!
The end result of this isle meeting is another meeting today to discuss how we can combine skills development, job creation and good quality SA toys. I think we need to brand our product well and start to develop toys for Africa. With puzzles and stories about our legends, fables and heros rather than regurgitating US culture.
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