April 27th - Celebrating Freedom

We just had our fourth free and fair election in South Africa, fifteen years of rule by the ANC, to be continued for at least the next five years and probably for longer still. It was with irony that I read the notice in a well known store that they will be open from 9:00 till 17:00 on the 27th of April, the day this nation will celebrate equality and freedom for all.

One A4 paper summarizing democracy in SA.

White collar workers will be resting; blue collar workers will be working. Freedom was built on the backs of the unemployed and the semi skilled however; the fruits of equal opportunity are enjoyed by the skilled, the educated and the employed. Indeed, a very small percentage of our population. Political freedom has not been translated into personal freedom from the shackles of poverty. Public service delivery is at a stand still. Doctors are striking and toy toying in the streets for better working conditions and higher salaries, our educational system has all but disintegrated. Various towns are suing their local municipalities for breach of contract and are refusing to pay levies and taxes to the local authorities; instead they are setting up trust funds and taking the responsibility on themselves.

The ruling party remains at the steer of our country with the new president having a huge following under the rural people and the unemployed. All eyes are focused to see what will happen next. A charismatic criminal is at the steer of our democracy. Which way will he take us? The optimists feel that his criminal past is no worse than that of any other politician and that we should not overlook the laureate received for peacekeeping, his focus on family and children. His grassroots approach to politics. He has none of the credentials of Mbeki but he is the father of many (a criticism often leveled at our previous president, that he was too academic and did not care about ‘his children’), his number of wives a close kept secret. But monogamy is a western approach and all his marriages are legal under traditional law and an accepted practice in his culture.

I think the next couple of years will be interesting for this little country. South Africa might be on the southern tip of Africa but with the right leadership, we could be a giant in the making. This country has given birth to numerous international thought leaders, we are rich in resources (mineral, cultural and human talent) and with the hosting of the soccer world cup next year we are being ushered into the lime light. Tourism has steadily increased over the last couple of years and with the global economic slump, a significant number of South Africans are returning home, as our economy has largely been protected, with skilled people in short supply.

The trap

Mommy, can I sit on your lap pleeeease....said my kiddo with his best 'I LOVE you sooo much mom' expression

With a melting heart I pick the little guy up and snuggle him close to me. Too late I realise it was just a clever ploy.

An enormous fart explodes on my legs

ahahahahaa...hysterical laughter as he jumps off and hops around on one leg, pointing at my disgusted face.

Celebrating family

Mom and Dad and Nikyle

The whole family
Boys behaving badly ;-)
Today I got to be part of John's extended family. His little kid, Nikyle, turned 10 and we all got to celebrate together. For the first time since his birth, his parents and grandparents were all gathered around a table at John's restaurant for lunch. I made it beautiful and bought the kid a cake. The conversations around the table were varied and easy. No evidence of all the rejection and court cases that lies in the past.

I think that maybe the love and acceptance that have been planted is growing seeds across more families than just mine. I wanted to cry from the beauty of it all. The hug I got from a little kid that tries to be a brave adult at such a tender age. The measured look I could meet from the grandfather that has had to soften with time. Even Nikyle's mom and I shared a tight hug and John could wink at her as they made arrangements for next weekend. And who knows, maybe the invitation to go dancing with them one night might even realise.

Elrich - The Party Animal

Dancing the night away at the wedding, his pants are dusty because of amazing breakdance moves he had going on the floor before I could get hold of my camera

Elrich - The poster boy

I took one photo of the little man playing on the sand, he noticed and started with his own sequence of poses which I captured on film. We could have filled many rolls that day but I told him enough after about 10 shots

Capturing the magic

Introducing Adin

So we went yesterday to welcome the new baby into the family. I was very teary before we left but John came with and by the time we got to the hostipal (as E says) I was ok. E bought his brother a little present and wrote him a little card. Unfortunately I did not take a picture of the little letter but it read 'hady birth Adin, Elrich' in this beautiful scrawl all across the paper.

E was a bit shy with all the attention and people but I think he will be fine and he is very proud to at long last be a big brother.

I am ok, I am just really more confused than ever.

Ok I will admit it

The pending birth of the new baby is really messing with my emotions
I keep thinking
Why could we not have this?
How is what he has now, so much better than what we had as a couple?

I know the answer to that is probably
that it is not better at all
but that I am better of with what I have now
as I am not an emotionally isolated wife
waiting for her husband to come home

but still
this is hurting me

A little taste of things to come

The lunch we enjoyed at a very nice trendy 'in a surfside sort of way' restaurant at Jeffreys bay - I know the place is trendy as every second table spoke a different language. A clear confirmation of the promise made by the information booklet we all probably read. Just a pity that the setting and the presentation was the best part of the meal.

One of the colourless beach images I took, this one was just with my cellphone to send of to my parents. A truly magical afternoon at one of the most beautiful beaches I have ever had the priviledge to visit.

Travelling as a single mom

This trip has been a spiritual journey for me. Through untouched wilderness, wild mind maps and mostly unchartered emotional territory. I have learned that I can cope with all kinds of challenges, from driving on roads about which seasoned men talk in hushed tones to being the only unattached female at a formal wedding dinner. I think the dinner was more intimidating than all the road trips and isolated landscapes strung together.

Getting ready and dressing up, first myself and then my dashing five year old companion, the fear that I look like something the cat dragged in as I walked through the door. Reading the appreciation in the eyes of men not my partner, the sidling up to husbands of wives, irritation at this oddity clearly evident on their faces. I was so carefull to only talk to males when they addressed me first, a difficult task for me as I grew up a tomboy and am so used to work in a male dominated industry that I relate to men far easier than women in the best of circumstances. But that said, the wedding was absolutely beautiful - a celebration from the heart.

I left the wedding feeling very sad and forelorn, I think watching all the families celebrating together increased the yearning in myself to belong to a safe little unit. At the beach were we stayed I took reels of photos - who knew that colourless sand and surf could be so magical? My kid is loving the holiday and he is making friends easier than I could ever do. But I think we are getting ready to return home. We are both missing the puppies and more familiar routine of home life. Just a couple more days in the Tsitsikama and then the long trip back to the crazy life of Gauteng.