The Challenge

A Greek boy (first generation) and a South African girl (third generation)
Mediterranean passions vs French/Victorian principles
The one is loud…the other controlled
Emotional….rational
Spontaneous and explosive…….analytical and calculated

Yes, you are right – it sounds like dynamite…but wait, there is more

Mix into this DNA soup some personality and you get
Territorial………explorer
Slow to change….where is the next challenge?
Stubborn…X2

But what we share
Our values
Sense of integrity
Life philosophy
Commitment to each other
Fun loving silly kiddie side

However, for it to work well for us, we need to learn
To accommodate our different cultural heritages
Better communication – always better communication
Trusting the relationship

Like my friend said this morning, yes, it is easier to be on your own, but then you don’t get to share in the togetherness. She is right, that sense of togetherness is priceless.

I'm just a scaterboy

E got his first scateboard for his third christmas and it has been an uneasy love affair ever since.

Hahahahaha it gets better

So this weekend was freeeezing cold in Jouies and I did nothing but stay in bed, read my book, watched TV - I NEVER get to watch TV. And then I got to do all of that all over again on Sunday. E was with Daddy so it was a splendid weekend of just me and some John time - like a nice dinner on Friday night, and watching the Springboks annihilate Nieu Zealand in the Rugby on Saturday night.

Needless to say, I awoke ready and roaring with energy at 6am this morning. Finished the preparation for my 10:00 meeting, bathed and got ready to jump into my truck. Turned the ignition and.....the sweet sweet sound of absolute silence. No gentle rock and purring, just nothing. She has been charging for over an hour and is still dead. I missed my meeting and had to email the client the very rough draft document, which we can work through after his return from Tanzania

Did I mention something about a competent consultant?

Blah

Today's day is a blah day
The reasons I think
are numerous
onerous
tasks

And my head is stuffed
to the brim with
memories
thoughts
fears

A friendship - lost
A love - betrayed
A father - died
A baby - born

Maybe a new love - Reborn?
Dreams and fantasies
Are they real or
just my musings?

The rockstar pout

This is my kid's best 'I am cool imitation', which I caught in a moment of unguarded facial expressions

His awareness of death continues and yesterday he decided it would have been better if he was space. I thought I misunderstood the kid and asked him if he means he wants to be in space. No mom, he says in that rolling of the eye tone of voice.

I wish I was space, because if I was space, I would not get old and die.

Yes, It is digital

Finally, I have splurged on that digital camera. Now if I can only figure out how to take really shit hot photos with it, all will be well. But for starters, look how my kid has grown!

E and John watching superbikes racing with E telling John exactly how the guy must turn to make sure he can get around those corners real fast without falling over
Yip, my kid has chores in the house and here he is helping us set the table for a family dinner at my parents. He had to do all the cutlery and then helped with folding and placing the serviettes in the wine glasses
A couple of visits to the bicycle park and E has become really confident in his own riding abilities. Now he keeps telling me that I need to buy a bike so we can bike together and that is definately something to be done soon!

Another month or two and we will have to adjust the seat on that bike - the speed with which this kid is growing is just mind boggeling. We measured him at my parents house in March and again in June and the kid grew just more than two centimenters in just more than two months

My kid is a practical joker and whenever he sees the camera coming out, all these poses start immediately, with whatever props he can find handy for the moment

Shilogh - The horse next door

When I moved into my little cottage, now nearly two years ago I was seriously in transit and could not even cope with owning a couch or a dog. As we all know that has slowly changed over the last two years, with me drifting less and less and slowly settling back down into the routine of life and responsibility. Getting a puppy, buying a couch, acknowledging my relationship with John....and recently, starting lessons on Shilogh and taking over the management of his upkeep.

See, Shilogh is the little horse next door that I have been riding on a very informal and irregular basis for the last eighteen months. In the past, I have kept the relationship and the riding very loose and uncommited but the desire to start competing and taking my riding more seriously have steadily been growing. Firstly I thought of finding a horse to halfbate, then to buy and eventually I decided that I actually have a wonderful little horse to ride, I just need to put the effort and the cost into him and upgrade my riding experience with him. So I spoke to the owner and we have changed his food and his stable management as from today - no more will he be treated as a live-out second class citizen. Oh no - he has gone onto competition quality food and stable management principles. Even though this is quite costly, if we share it, it is affordable and the results I am sure will blow us all away. But to start with - this is what the little guy is all about.

He is rather skinny at the moment with very little muscle tone especially over the hind quarter which is a critical area for your showjumper. This is also then the area that are currently enjoying the most focus in terms of the exercises I am doing with him. I love his short compact back, well balanced neck and kind face. A bit of downer is the rather straight shoulder and very long and angled pasterns....fortunately he is not a very big horse and he has a very kind and generous disposition with more than enough ability to give me back my confidence and teach me how to ride properly again.

He is a really well banlanced little horse with a lovely soft mouth and even though he is not really well developed as yet, he is an easy and supple ride
Working on that dreaded seat my girl - get those legs longer and chin UP for Pete's sake! Shilogh is engaging really well here and you can start to see his paces coming out in this photo. Now imagine what he will look like in about three or four months time with proper food and exercise!
A really well engaged little horse paying attention to my every move, he really is a lovely soft and responsive ride and I am scared that I might just fall in love with this gorgeous little boy!
And hate me if you must, but these photos were taken today, in the MIDDLE of winter, we are really enjoying lovely mild daytime temperatures at the moment.

Boardroom blunders

My nerves kept me up for most the night, not to talk about the sulky John creaking at the other side of my bed. His lower lip was so big it nearly got stuck in the bedroom door, but that is another story all together. By the time 4:30 am rolled by it was nearly a relief to extract myself from the warmth of my bed and just as I started to stir, J was out the bed and ready to rush of to his house and leave me to the misery of working in the cold early morning air. But my timing was on target and by 7:30 I was done and ready to roll out of the house. To a demo I had to lead at a very big mining house to implement our product across all their operations. To say I was slightly nervous is an understatement.

Preparation required some power dressing, only to remember I clean forgot to get our company profiles printed. Oh well, too late to do anything about that now and better get that ass moving as traffic is a challenge and the 25 odd km's to their head office can take at least an hour. But just in case, I gave myself an hour and half to get there. Alas, half way down the road and the first reports start to come over the radio of a Taxi that rolled on the highway, on the side I want to travel and all motorists are recommend to take alternative roads. All of a sudden the destination seems to be situated on a different continent. But we shall preservere and not loose our carefully made up composure to the mad dash of taxi's driving from all sides and into all directions, the proverbial broken ant hill.

With exactly 3 minutes to spare I walked into the boardroom accompanied by Phil (looking for all the world like a converted muslim) and our much younger partner Des. To be greeted enthusiastically by a group of no less than 10 experts ranging from social develop to systems development and data integrity. All ready to bombard us with questions.

The first half of the presentation went beautifully then I tried to access the server and I could not connect to the internet. All waited patiently untill Biscuit saved the day and gave me his laptop which was connected through the wireless network at the office. I took a deep breath and prepared to plunge into the meat of the discussion, only to discover that our server is down and none of the buttons work.

It was a serious anti climax let me tell you.

Moonstruck

Last night as John stopped at my cottage he came rushing through the door excitedly.

'Baby come quickly, grab your camera and come see the moon'.

So we locked up, jumped into his little car and raced down the road to admire a blood red moon slowly rising from behind one of the many hills around town. The castle etched out in front of it.

I love that about him. His childlike enthusiasm about the magic of life

Halfway through winter and still running

June has been a really hectic month and I am still trying to slow down, consolidate and process all that has happened in thirty short days. And short these days were, being in the middle of winter and freezing cold. But this is just how it is for me, if I do not pack my winters full of goodie bags, I get depressed and then it is a mission to get me from under the duvet. But not this June, Oh no, our month started with a wonderful weekend of offroad fun, for which I rented a little trailer and took E and myself off to join our offroad club in a weekend of camping at the Mlilwane Wildlife Sanctuary.

The convoy of about six vehicles travelled together to Swaziland and just before lunch time we went through one of the lessor known border posts.
The scenary at the Mlilwane Wildlife Sanctuary where we stayed were absolutely magnificent and I managed to capture this nostalgic scene at the local weir.
It was a lot of fun staying in our little tent and I was very proud of the way in which E managed to help me around the camp. Setting up the tent, helping mom around the camp site and his personal favourite - farting as loud and as much as possible in the clear mountain air.
The Nyalas were really tame and provided us with hours of entertainment. That is if they did not manage to steal everything edible available at your camp.

Some boulder bashing on top of a mountain, believe it or not, but thanks to some good guidance and nerves of steel, we all made it through here without a scratch to any of the vehicles.
After that rather tight squeeze I needed some relieve and this I must say, was the best wee view in the world ;-)
Followed by a lovely picnic and a well deserved rest on top of the mountain

We visited Swazi Candles the next day and I was amazed at the skill of the artists who, seemingly without effort, created the most the beautiful candles I have ever seen. This gentleman made an elephant candle in about 10 or so minutes whilst E and me stood watching him. Needless to say, I spend a fortune right there in gifts and little things for my home.
As I came back from my Swazi trip, John and I renewed our discussions around property, our different needs and how we could possibly accommodate a city sleeker and country bumpkin in one house. This resulted in some serious thinking and the purchase of a stand where we plan to build a city home in a country estate, just a couple of km's north of E's school.

The next weekend I was off to Porterville to share experiences with beautiful women in a function which was co sponsored by Jacobs Quest and the Diva Africa Programme. I felt privileged to be invited as a speaker at the gala dinner and got to dance the night away with all the lovely local ladies.
And just to top it all off, I bought myself a lovely new digital camera with all the functionality I have been drooling about for years but could never quite muster the courage to splash out on. Now I just need to figure out how to download the photos from the camera to my computer and we should be ready for some serious playing and sharing ;-)

And I thought I was neurotic

Already not ready

My kid is five and I cannot answer half his questions.....the easiest one this week was 'mom, does the mommy or daddy of the seahorse have a pouch?'

What? I did not even know seahorses had pouches, so my kid told me that it is the daddy seahorse that has a pouch and raises the babies. One or two at a time. I really should check the accuracy of that.

Then the killer question: Mom where does money come from? So I start my explanation of me working for money and that is how I get it and use it pay for all the stuff we enjoy. This really frustrated him no end. No Mom, where does it come from? Why do you have to work for it? Why do some people not have money?

Ok that is it, I resign. This is the single most confusing question of my adult life, one with which I have been struggling for at least ten years. And now my kid wants the answer as well. Which really is a philosophical question about a believe system, an abstract concept that determine the life and death of not only the human race but planet earth as we know it. Yes, I am being dramatic, but really. If we took money out of the world, the sun would shine and the grass and food groups would still grow. The wheels would still turn without even taking any notice. The value of money is just in our heads, but it has the power to save lives and kill countless others.

I have to admit, the size of the question was too intimidating and overwhelming for me to negotiate in a way that he would understand but still feel truth full to me. Instead, we will go to the open day at the SA Mint next Sunday and see if we can figure something out about money that will satisfy the curiosity of my kid.

And that is not all

So I am still busy with my project and in the last set of interviews I conducted I met this amazing artist who teaches canework - well that is what he called it and I would not know the difference. Essentially, he teaches unemployed and illiterate people to weave cane and make cane furniture. He speaks in the gravelly voice of a blues singer and have the long delicate fingers of an artist. When I asked him what his highest level of education is he gave an indistict mumble which I think meant he left school at the age of 14. But in quick cost calculations I could not keep up as he rumbled off measurements and calculated the costs of furniture in various designs. He sponsors some of his students out of his own pocket, but he only gets a minimal salary for three of the eight hours he works a day. His hand outs and class tests are hand written/drawn for each student and there are fourteen of them. He dreams of opening his own shop front, of employing more young people. Of uplifting his community. I feel honoured to have had the opportunity to meet a man of that caliber, to spend some time in his presence and to maybe create an avenue through which his dreams might be realised

New Perspective

In my work I come face to face with the beauty and challenges of poverty frequently which serves as a constant reminder of how truly blessed and privilidged I am. Today I started work on a new project, at a missionary in a very poor community about 1.3 hours from my home. After my meeting with the potential benficiaries I was proudly shown to one of the projects. Once I started taking photos with my cellphone I was not allowed to stop until every pupil and her creation got equal attention.

The task was to find whatever flowers and greenery they could and make a flower arrangement. The individuality and creativity evident was mind blowing

A prank a day

My kid loves practical jokes and is always up to something mischievous but his latest favourite is really getting to me.

It all started with me giving him the car keys to get himself in the car and strapped in whilst I pack the groceries. As I closed the passenger door I heard my car beep and lock itself. Could not believe my ears so I put my nose against the driverseat window and looked at E. He was grinning like a maniac.

So I asked him to 'PLEASE OPEN THE CAR', but guess what, he can’t hear me so after the third attempt at asking politely (the rule in our house, I hate it when they turn on you like that), I realise he wants me to repeat silly words after him, in the right order. Silly words like, Lion, Hyena, Pooh, Willy - So here I am standing in a parking lot at a shopping centre, desperately shouting silly words at the darkened windows of a big bakkie, whilst trying the door handle. Looking for all the world like I actually expect the door to open any second now.

Our Mothersday

Was such a fun family day

It started slowly with me sleeping in a little bit, E playing in his room. We then cuddled on the couch and watched a Garfield movie hugging our morning coffee (me) and tea for E.

Around lunch time we fetched John, Nikyle and the bikes, grabbed some take away pizzas from John's restaurant and headed out to the Bicycle park. Nikyle took off with great gusto and E had a couple of meltdowns before he decided that if he just tries hard enough he could actually start the ride without any assistance from his mother. That was enough motivation for me to don the helmet and take my little guy around the beginner trail. He followed very scared but brave on his bike and I looked ridiculous with my jeans and T-shirt on Nikyles bike. Nevermind, it was fun and I am so proud of my little man for following me bravely down rather steep hills, over log bridges and around all kinds of corners. Some of which had a substantial drop if you somehow missed the track. The ride was very slow and we had a couple of spectacular falls but the elation and pride in my little man's face when he finished all of it will be cherished for many years to come.

Oh and not to be outdone by his kid, John strapped the helmet on and took the mountain bike over some rather serious ramps ;-) he did well for even trying to go for it and I think we should put some effort into getting bikes for all of us and enjoying this together as a family.

Mmm what's up?

After running around in mental circles for near to a month, everything inside me has calmed down. I am not sure why or what happened, but inner peace have returned to my life. What a relieve.

Could it be the three days I have spend riding this week? Could it possibly be that simple?

Or was it the two hours I spend talking to Thersia with Adin sleeping on my chest? Maybe the hour I spend today with Phil at Internal Affairs trying to get our divorce registered on the system so he can register his new baby in his name? In my entire life I have never seen a more confused official. She just could not get that I am the ex-wife and that I am there to help Phil register his baby by another woman ;-p Is kindness and goodwill really that rare?

Whatever the cause, I would like to bottle this feeling and keep it in a cupboard somewhere for future usage.

Cultivating Culture

After E and me got seated at a rather snazzy restaurant the maitre'd came up to our table and asked us what we would like to drink. As she looked at me to place the order, I looked at E to give him an opportunity to answer.

His response came in a very responsible adult voice
'Can I have a glass of red wine please' he said with a slight smile, straightening his napkin and looking the rather shocked lady straight in the eye.
I ditto't that and then explained that his red wine is grapetizer, a non alchololic beverage made from red grapes.

Because you see, at our house, we always share a glass of red wine at the dinner table. The ritual dictates that we sit down together, clink our glasses and wish each other bon appetite. Signalling the start of family dinner at my house and one of the most important moments in my day.

The only white at a tea-party

On May-day I had the pleasure to attend a very well organised, high society tea party in celebration of not only a birthday, but also women in general and South African women in particular. It was a fascinating experience.

The tables were set with designer cutlery and crockery, flute wine glasses and delicate little snacks. The women were absolutely beautiful with their exotic looks, from almond shaped hazel eyes to pitch black irisses and skin colours ranging from ebony to milky coffee. Snow white flowing dresses and soft accents, imported scents wafting through the room.

I was the only woman representing the white minority of our country and what was really interesting to me was that the host felt the need to introduce me as 'even though she is white, her soul is that of a black sister, she is my soul's sister'. I keep wondering what that really means. Is it just an acknowledgement that I can hug and kiss my black friends as much as I can any other friends? Does it mean that I don't value people based on skin colour? But black people can be as racist as any other racist group of people and I have often heard them (and at this tea party as well) make slightly derrogatory comments with regards to 'the whities'.

The amazing reality of that morning was to see the strength of our women in action, the believe that if we stand together and work together, we can redefine business in South Africa.

Women in action, in business, changing society and the future for our children.

April 27th - Celebrating Freedom

We just had our fourth free and fair election in South Africa, fifteen years of rule by the ANC, to be continued for at least the next five years and probably for longer still. It was with irony that I read the notice in a well known store that they will be open from 9:00 till 17:00 on the 27th of April, the day this nation will celebrate equality and freedom for all.

One A4 paper summarizing democracy in SA.

White collar workers will be resting; blue collar workers will be working. Freedom was built on the backs of the unemployed and the semi skilled however; the fruits of equal opportunity are enjoyed by the skilled, the educated and the employed. Indeed, a very small percentage of our population. Political freedom has not been translated into personal freedom from the shackles of poverty. Public service delivery is at a stand still. Doctors are striking and toy toying in the streets for better working conditions and higher salaries, our educational system has all but disintegrated. Various towns are suing their local municipalities for breach of contract and are refusing to pay levies and taxes to the local authorities; instead they are setting up trust funds and taking the responsibility on themselves.

The ruling party remains at the steer of our country with the new president having a huge following under the rural people and the unemployed. All eyes are focused to see what will happen next. A charismatic criminal is at the steer of our democracy. Which way will he take us? The optimists feel that his criminal past is no worse than that of any other politician and that we should not overlook the laureate received for peacekeeping, his focus on family and children. His grassroots approach to politics. He has none of the credentials of Mbeki but he is the father of many (a criticism often leveled at our previous president, that he was too academic and did not care about ‘his children’), his number of wives a close kept secret. But monogamy is a western approach and all his marriages are legal under traditional law and an accepted practice in his culture.

I think the next couple of years will be interesting for this little country. South Africa might be on the southern tip of Africa but with the right leadership, we could be a giant in the making. This country has given birth to numerous international thought leaders, we are rich in resources (mineral, cultural and human talent) and with the hosting of the soccer world cup next year we are being ushered into the lime light. Tourism has steadily increased over the last couple of years and with the global economic slump, a significant number of South Africans are returning home, as our economy has largely been protected, with skilled people in short supply.