This was the time last year that Phil walked out the house. I was very sad, but relieved as well. It was like the lashing of a boil, the cutting clean of an infection.
The coming weekend marks our first return to the sea, to diving, doing something together that we both love dearly. We have had to cope with a lot stress organising this, from critical family members to broken down cars, menstrual periods that started way later than normal (yeah) and now the rain. I am not tense, I am not scared but I cannot help looking back and seeing the road we have travelled. I cannot help but believe that the seeds of forgiveness, love and acceptance (for all of us) will grow strong in our little family.
This has been a very tough year, I think on all of us. Not the toughest year for me, by far that would have been the preceeding 18 months, but still difficult. Difficult to continuously remind myself that I have a bigger goal, and greater dream, that feelings and emotions are fleeting, but the future is very real and I am, we are, the builders of that future. We get to decide how we will react to that which life throw at us.
Maybe it is fitting to celebrate this weekend, this renewed unity, together at the sea.
3 comments:
You sound cautiously optimistic. A big improvement. Have a fantastic time at the sea!
You know, I have always felt an affinity toward the ocean, as if in its ebbs and flows all of life's answers are there. When I have problems I go watch the sunset, and when I gaze across the vast ocean toward the horizon, my problems seem to diminish in the enormity of the salty sea water. And the whoosh, shoosh, of the waves upon the sand mimic my breaths until I am finally calm and at peace. I hope this vacation is magical for you and you find peace in the choices you've made.
Hope you had a wonderful weekend. You have come a long way in the past year.
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