Pulling a loose thread

I often feel very disconnected from what I am doing, the people in my life and in actual fact – my very life itself. Like I am an outsider looking in – a very critical outsider, and when I am there in that space, I do not understand human relationships, or emotions, or the reasons for living at all. I question the very reality of my existence and the sanity of this planet – the wheel of life and death, our capitalist economy, the killing of animals to consume, the all consuming machine of consumerism and the madness of modern life. It becomes a dark vortex sucking me in and leaving me breathless at the end. I have no clue what it is related to and how to not go down it, but I do know that when I am there, the days flow into each other and I don’t seem to get anything accomplished.