A crazy scary day

This day started with a phonecall at 6:00 am

My kid only got to school at 9:30 and on the way there he wanted to know what was wrong with me so I told him my tummy is very scared because I am nervous about some stuff. He promptly got hold of the cd wallet and fished out some classical music for the trip 'cause it will relax my tummy and then I do not have to think about the scary stuff anymore ;-)

It worked.

He told me that just sometimes his tummy also get scared when he has to sit on the green chair at school. But you know what mom, I have a machine tummy that eats food and makes pooh all of the time.

Admitting defeat

mom, why does petrol and diesel make cars go?

aahheem because, remember how we watched the fire burning the wood in the steam engine and the steam gave the train energy to move forward? The diesel and petrol is the same, it ignites and burns in the engine and then it gives the car energy to go forward (I think - I whispered silently to myself)

Is there a fire in the engine mom?!! very excited response from the back

uh ehh no, my boy - I suppose it is more like a little explosion of gas then

an EXPLOSION!! wow -

uuhhhh welll, mmm

Then mom, tell me, how does rockets explode into space??

Well, you know what, I really dont know. Who do you think we can ask?

From here and there

Firstly, a disturbing sight was documented on my washing line the other day

What, might you ask, is so disturbing about t-shirts on a washing line? Well, let me tell you, two of those shirts are for me and two of them are for E...that is what. Can you tell?

Then, we celebrated a birthday this weekend. As I had no time to even think about what to buy for the loved one, I just carted the whole fandamaly (including mom visiting from Crete) to a private game farm an hour down the road. And believe it or not, I forgot my camera ;-p Yip, been working too much again. But I did manage to capture these two photos with my cellphone. From the deck of our private lodge - where we even had a heated splash pool for our enjoyment



It was a really enjoyable weekend, we saw lots of animals and there were a herd of tame Eland that basically walked between the people like housepets. Even the one giraffe came really close to investigate. Definately a place to return to and with bicycles next time as the whole reserve is marked with cycling trails.

And then the house is in the start of transforming to something less than a storage room - from this



To this - at least we have a mirror and TV Cabinent, the couch will be delivered in February ;-)

Once that is done I can start on the office side of things and pretty the place up a bit with some strategically placed decorative items. I am thinking a big burnt orange vase standing in the corner under the mirror with some interesting grasses and stuff in it.

It is a strange place

Last year I wanted to grow my business
and it was status quo for most the year

This year I want balance
and now I have a list of new clients
all screaming for attention at once

How to keep to my resolutions??

First day back in school

On our way to school this morning E told me he does not want to go to school anymore. So I asked him why and he answered that he only knows how to ride his bike and he does not know all his letters and numbers. He was worried that he could not know everything perfectly and that Keabewtse will tease him because of it. I never realised this, he always said he loved working with Keabets but this morning it came out that he would rather the teachers teach him and help him more. I am so glad the older friend has gone of to big school and E will be one of the bigger kids in the class. It is a problem when you are part of the big kids group and you are two years younger, you just dont know everything as well as they do.

I think this year will be a good one for the little guy

Magic everywhere

We just have to look through the eyes of a child
E and me were sitting together on my patio steps the other day
when he got really excited about the magical rainbow that appears in the clouds above us, all we had to do was close our eyes really tight,
look up at the clouds and then open
and wow - a rainbow will be there for a couple of seconds
It was beautiful
and the excitement...intoxicating

Oh

and my TV cabinet arrived,

it is beautiful - solid mahogany and both E and me loves it.
E's comment was, wow mom, now our house looks so much neater
sometimes i cannot believe the things he comes up with

funny little story
we went to visit my good friend Jen yesterday
and went for an unplanned swim in her pool and as I came out of her house with her borrowed bikini, my little boy looked up from the pool and said in a very loud voice
Mom, you look sooo beautifulll
melted heart right there ;-)

the kid is going to be a dangerous womaniser in a couple of years

For 2009

I have one resolution

To make memories, beautiful memories
for me, my son, my family,
and yes,
with John

Moving Inn

yes, up to now I have kind of lived in rented accommodation. A roof over our heads, a place to work, sleep and while away hours.

Inside of me a desire, a pressure, has been building for a home. A cozy place of refuge, a quiet little 'me' place. I started searching the For Sale boards. Checking out property websites. Devising plans for how I could afford this little nest. Then I realised. I have everything I need right here, I just need to move into it. I need to make me a home right where I am staying. It is perfect. Somebody else takes care of everything, all I have to do is live here. No added stress, nothing.

So I bought Stephan some breakfast (E's godfater and Phil's younger brother) and dragged him all over town with me. To find a couch and a TV cabinent (yes, we have been sitting on the floor and then later on funny looking garden chairs and the TV stands on the floor). He accompanied me with the patience of a saint. From one shop to the next, across town and back. And this on his holiday. But I got what I liked. To be delivered soon. I will post before and after piccies in the near future.

Stephan's advice and patience and general interest in my wellbeing was a soothing balm on my spiky nerves. He has a true artists eye combined with a practicality and feel for life like few other people I know. I have to say 'thank you'. What was interesting though, was how everybody just assumed we were a couple.

Back from our little break

A whirlwind December left no time to gather my thoughts, feelings or christmas presents for that matter. Until the last moment, when I shopped, wrapped and packed the car all in a couple of hours. To go for our much anticipated week long holiday in the Drakensberg mountains. Where it was beautiful, lush green, quiet and best of all - no cellphone reception. So we rested and ate and drank and then did it all over again.

A couple of milestones for everyone;
E learned to ride his bike without the side wheels

John and Nikyle joined us from Christmas day until the weekend, the first time the two of them have spend christmas together, as well as, the first time they have gone away together.

And no less, the first time we have joined forces as a family with my parents, E, me,John and Nikyle

It worked out well and we all had a good time....even the two boys had fun together.

Gold Medal Mom

Sorry, No it was not your name we called out mam

I did not really think so

On Wednesday night I was so tired
My kid ate Strawberry rice krispies for dinner
In front of the TV
Then he sat watching cartoons
until he fetched his pillow
and fell asleep on the cold hard tile floor

I was sitting next to him
furiously typing on my computer
trying to make the deadline
I am still working on

The one that has had me cancel my weekend camping trip
with my little boy
to rather spend it
working some more and more and more
Fortunately E will not know that
as he is going fishing with his dad tomorrow
and on Sunday
we will drive down to Ouma and Oupa far away
to celebrate

40 Years of Marriage
together, happy and still in love

It is all about choices, I know

So when faced with this new dilemma in my life called Elrich's baby brother, it was time for introspection again. When I got over the fact that I was the one that wanted another kid, and now Phil is going to have another one - what did I say about my perception that he is living our/my dreams? Incidentally, he never bought that property (but I am getting sidetracked here)

How to approach this? What do I want? Are we going to be awkward about this for the rest of our lives, how will we (Elrich and me and Phil and Thersia, because face it, she is part of this family now as well) deal with this baby brother?

Oi

Then the opportunity was created, in no other place than the local Medical clinic. Where I spend all of Thursday with the doctors, trying to figure out exactly what was brewing in my brain. As I emerged from the physio therapist, I got a weak little hello from just behind my left shoulder. And who was sitting there sheepishly? None other than Phil. Yes, he was sick as well, similar symptoms as me, but not quite as severe and not as whacky, except that he had a rash to add to his ailments (getting side tracked again…maybe my brain did get infected?) so we exchanged a couple of words and I went down to the pharmacy to pick up my script and there we talked some more. So much so that I suggested we sit down for a cup of coffee at a local restaurant.

We talked about this, and that, some business and so on. And right at the end I told him that I want him to know that I have thought about this baby and him and Thersia and I have decided that they are all welcome in my house. That we will just be an extended family, that I want E to grow up with his brother, that we must be comfortable going to the kiddies birthday parties and that I know they are not a match made in heaven. But that I wish them happiness in any case and whether they are together as a couple going forward or not, his kid(s) will still be welcome in my house. And that I want us to create as normal and loving environment as possible for all the children involved. He agreed with me, which is not surprising as he has always agreed with me ;-) but he did make one additional gesture, he invited me to Thersia’s birthday party the 20^th of December at his house, which will double as a Christmas party for the family and family friends and all the children. So I accepted. And then today when they came to fetch E, they dropped a poster counting down the days to the birth of the little tyke – due date 16^th of April. I will mount it in E’s room and dutifully stick stickers on it.

For the life of me, I cannot remember the little guy’s name, but it does sound something like Dolphin but spelled along the lines of Dhaol Finn (really not sure about the spelling as Phil did it over the phone and by that stage I was trying to not burst out laughing)

Fun with words

Mom, it is ok - I am licking the leaking milk.....hehehehe licking the leaking milk

I loved listening to him tasting the words in his mouth. His fascination with the similar sounds and the different meanings. Repeating the same phrase over and over.

Clearing out the stockpile

Whilst in a workshop with one of my clients today she got called out to an emergency meeting. Only to rush back half an hour later, flushed and flustered. The whole operation will be closing down for four months. No production, no work....for more than a thousand people. The reason, their international market has slowed down so much that their stockpile of product has become a white elephant which must be moved before production can be continued. This is a mine with a lifespan of a further 30 years, one in which we, just minutes before, were discussing the recruitment ramp up, we thought was planned for next year.

A thousand lives, just before christmas, from all over Southern Africa. All the strategies and plans for development and economic stimulation are just that. Plans and strategies.....hopefully they will not gather dust in file thirteen.

It is confirmed

E is going to become a big brother. The new baby boy will be born in April.

I am still giggling about this. I cannot help but remember the sessions we had in marriage councelling where Phil very clearly stated that he just does not feel like the commitments of fatherhood and why should he sacrifice his immediate carnal desires to be a loving and supportive husband? How could his wife expect that of him?

I have it on good authority that nothing has changed. That he still runs away from wife and house on a regular basis. That he has told the girlfriend that he just needs to get away from her and everything a bit every now and again. To hang out with his mates at odd places and do things he never talks to anyone about. I am so glad/relieved/ elated that I am not part of that crazy ride. I do feel sorry for the girlfriend though.

I wonder how E will react to the news, when his father plucks up the courage to tell him. He has to do it and soon, I am sure reference will be made more and more often to the new baby... and besides, the girl is very obviously pregnant.

Mom, is your heart angry or sad ?

Babes, my heart is nothing

What do you mean your heart is nothing?
How can your heart be nothing?
If your heart is nothing, then you are nothing
and then I do not have a mom!

What kind of work?

Teeaaam work....that is the moto in our little house. E helps me by setting the table, washing up (sometimes), cleaning his room (tidy, vacuum and mop ;-) and looking after himself aka dressing, bathing, brushing and wiping. I know the quality control is sometimes lacking, but hey...we will get there.

A couple of action shots

Getting all ready at the cycle race the other day

Nerves of steel at the starting point ;-)


And yesterday at school with the end of the year presentations for the kids that did intro golf.


What a shot!

A southern perspective

I cannot help myself. I find the current political regime in the US of A amusing. Africa was always the deep dark black continent. A hole in the map. Even academics in the North tend to group all of us together....as Africa. Heck, even South Africans are guilty of this referral to Africa as a homogenous continent. With just one fate; oblivion, mass poverty and corruption.

And now, arguably one of the most powerful men in the world, hails from Africa. With roots outside western dogma, western religion and a western mind set. Yes, he is American. I do not doubt that for a second. But still - he is not as American as the previous regime. He at least knows that Africa is a continent and not a country.

But not only that, now I really can laugh at racist comments in SA. People criticizing the South African government based on the racial make up will have to think twice. Further, the bar has been raised for our government. No longer is it ok to hide behind their race either. There is a man walking in the front, a man obviously different looking from his predecessors. A man not part of the family of presidents that went before him. A fresh breath. I wonder what that will mean for foreign policy, xenophobia in America, tolerance of difference. But I also wonder if he will live to see through his term. If he will have the support and strength of character to unite a divided nation. To catch that ever elusive pot of gold at the end of the rainbow (nation?)

So mom, tell me

how are you today?

Is what my little guy wanted to know on the way home from school. So I told him I am absolutely splendid. I am healthy, I am with him and everything looks nice to me. And how are you my boy?

I am terrible, he says

Oh, why ever then?

Because Manno just cries at school and eats food from the floor and that is just disgusting. I dont want anybody to be friends with him.